I have been lazy in bed all day today because leaving my bed means being a real person with errands to run and programs to write.

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I was going to make a really positive post about me buying the Angel kigurumi even though no one would know who I am without a Stitch and finding a way to go to Mickey’s NSS Halloween Party this year even if I won’t be able to find someone to go with because I’ve never let being alone  keep me from doing things I wanted to do before so why start now? but honestly, I’m probably going to let it stop me this time. I don’t know how I’d make it to Orlando without paying tons in bus/taxi fees and I don’t think I could actually have fun at Disney World by myself. I’ve never been by myself before and it’s really one of those things that would be hard to enjoy alone. Knowing me, I probably wouldn’t come home after the event and end up getting lost in Orlando walking around in big, pink character pajamas at 3 o’clock in the morning.

I said this exact same thing when I couldn’t find anyone to go with last year but “maybe next year.” ¯\_(◕‿◕)_/¯ 

Me:-takes a deep breath-
Me:Ahhh, yes. I love the smell of chronic depression in the morning.

Just thinking about last weekend and how much fun I had hanging out with so many people at the mall but also about how I couldn’t find anything to buy because everything I liked and would usually wear looked like crap on me. I have no idea what to do with my body anymore (T~T)

1 note • 2:59 PM

I miss leaving my father’s house at 5 in the morning to have a quiet, private, and peaceful run around the lake at the perfect hour where the sun is still down and no one is around. I wish I could do that here but so many people are out at all hours and its an open campus so I don’t even feel safe going around by myself at night. The fitness center is an option but I’m always so agitated at the thought of exercising around other people. 

I really don’t care if people that know me in real life follow me on tumblr. Recently, its become the kind of social networking site that I actually enjoy: personal and customizable but not based solely around communicating with other people directly.

I also miss what tumblr used to be for me when I first joined in ‘09. It was a place where I could vent about more personal things without having to worry about disappointing or worrying the people I know offline. I don’t think I could ever really be as candid as I was back then on this blog. 

It’s a bit bitter-sweet, I guess. I feel more connected to people but much lonelier at the same time, haha. I’ve gained another way to be social comfortably but I’ve lost a major outlet.  

Your temperament is phlegmatic. The phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. Phlegmatics tend to be content with themselves and are kind. They are accepting and affectionate. They may be receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. They are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, qualities that make them good administrators. They can also be passive-aggressive. 

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I thought I had all the data for my report already typed into a document but it turns out that I left out a huge chunk of it and my notebook is in my dorm so I guess I’ll have to wait until after dinner to finish my report ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now I get to play League until Matt gets home form work. muahaha

The most dangerous people are the ones that have nothing to loose and I think that’s why I often feel so vulnerable.